Teen Titans (v3) #2

Teen Titans (v3) #2
 "Child's Play"
Cover Date: October 2003
Writer: Geoff Johns
Artist: Mike McKone

Previously...

DC took their fifth shot at trying to resurrect the Titans as an A-list franchise.  For sake of reference, here are the previous four listed with the fatal flaw that did them in:

1. New Titans (1994)  (Used Damage as cast member)
2. Teen Titans (1996)  (Was generally terrible, had nothing to do with Titans to begin with)
3. Titans (1998) (Used Damage as cast member)
4. Titans (2000) (I like Tom Peyer, but I'm about the only one)

Anyway, so DC turned to Geoff Johns to sort it out. Johns decided to emphasize the 'teen' in Teen Titans, showing these young heroes growing into adulthood and finding their place in world. A noble goal. So Johns held over a few of the older Titans as mentors, roped in Superboy, Robin, Impulse, and Wonder Girl, and set them up in San Francisco. The idea was that the teen heroes would live their normal lives during the week, and then all hang out together on weekends. I'm not sure what happened if a supervillain struck San Francisco during the work week. I'd assume the police would show up and politely ask them to please reschedule at such time as the Teen Titans would be available to contest them.

In Teen Titans #1, the team had assembled, and they were all bummed because being a teenager is so hard. Also, Superboy found out that his human half came from Lex Luthor, which must have almost seemed like a good idea at the time.

Plot

Deathstroke is chilling in his pad, admiring the mounted head of his former valet, Wintergreen, and discussing how 'Deathstroke hunts alone'. Personally, I've never understood the appeal of Deathstroke, but hell, he's the biggest name villain the Titans ever had, so you might as well throw him out there.

At stately Titans Tower, Superboy is going for a swim when Robin starts bugging him about doing a DNA test to figure out whether or not Superboy has Luthor's DNA. Superboy doesn't really want to know, but Robin manages to take one of his hairs while he's not looking. This must have been more interesting at the time it was published.

Elsewhere in the tower, Impulse and Beast Boy are horsing around, as they are wont to do. Starfire shows up and, since it is not yet the New 52, does not offer to blow either of them. Ah, Starfire, it is amazing how quickly one bad moment can ruin a character. She breaks up the fight.

Wonder Girl, who has been watching this, decides to get up and leave the Titans. I can't say I blame her. Impulse pursues her and we are treating to an life-changing exchange between the two:

Oh, man, really? Well, at least it can't get any wo-

Why must you hate subtlety, Geoff Johns?

But this conversation is cut short when Alcatraz Island is attacked. The Titans spring into action, clearing the tourists who are there as the island explodes around them.

Impulse gets separated from the rest of the team and runs into Deathstroke, who had set all of this up as a trap. He manages to hit Impulse with a tranquilizer dart, which apparently is all a villain needs to completely shut down the kid's super-speed, then trots up to Impulse, explains his scheme, as well as his larger intention of discouraging teen vigilantism, before blowing out Impulse's knee with a shotgun. In fairness, it wouldn't be a Geoff Johns comic without some act of hyper-violence, now would it? To Be Continued!

Commentary

You know, I don't dislike Geoff Johns, it's just that he typically has the subtlety of...well, a shotgun blast to the knee, I suppose. For example, in these first few issues, Superboy learns that Lex Luthor is his father, and then Wonder Girl learns that Zeus is her father. I can't help but feel that Johns could have pushed the 'reveal of paternity causes teenager to re-evaluate place in the world, ultimately coming to the conclusion that they are not defined by there parentage' theme with just one of them.

I guess the real problem with a book about teenage super-heroes is that it never really seems like these characters are real teenagers.  Let's be honest; teenagers are, by and large, assholes. They'd be terrible heroes.  Fuck, I know if I had superpowers as a teenager, I'd use them in all sorts of irresponsible ways. But instead, you've got these guys, who essentially never do anything even remotely selfish with their powers except angst. A lot.

Damage Stars: Three Shotgun Blasts the Knee!